Shipping policy

Free Shipping on orders over $75 🌀 Because you're already spending enough energy overthinking the checkout page.

📦 Order Processing
We'll get your order ready within 2–5 business days. During peak periods it might take a little longer — we're human, just like you, just with slightly less existential dread. (Debatable.)

🚐 Shipping & Delivery
Once your order ships, expect it at your door within 4–8 business days depending on your location and the shipping method you chose at checkout. Yes, we know you'll be checking the tracking page every 45 minutes. We respect that.

🔍 Order Updates
The moment your order ships, you'll get tracking info straight to your inbox. Refresh responsibly. 😌

🔒 Secure Checkout
All payments go through a fully encrypted, secure checkout. Your financial anxiety can take a break on this one — we've got it handled.

Please note that delivery estimates are exactly that — estimates. Carrier delays, weather, and other things outside our control (unlike your intrusive thoughts, also outside our control) may affect your delivery date. We appreciate your patience and your chaos. 🧠